Am I wide awake or is it just an illusion? It’s the middle of the night! I grab my phone and look at the time. It’s 3:02 AM. It’s getting pretty late. I feel like the sunrise is getting closer and closer, but I’m getting as far away as possible from getting a good night’s sleep. I never realised how hot a room can get, actually. Now that I think about this, well, this must be how inside an oven must feel like. Not cool.
I flip my pillow. Much better now. Thousands of thoughts cross through my mind right now. I’m not sure if seconds have passed, or minutes. Or is it hours? Is it tomorrow yet? I can’t believe that this is IT: the love of my life sits next to me. Is it forever? Am I going to screw this up too? Am I destined to be happy forever? I had this dream before. OK, let’s put some order into those thoughts:
White shoes, white dress, white veil, with a white bouquet of lilies in my hands. I do the slow walk on the red carpet. Everybody is smiling at me. I feel the warmth of their happiness for me. But I don’t know any of them. This is not how I planned it. I’ve been walking on this road for so long, and I just can’t seem to get anywhere. Suddenly, I am left alone.
It really is hot in here. I flip the pillow again. Apparently it didn’t have enough time to get cold. I flip it again. And again. And again. I stretch my legs hoping that I would reach a cold side of the bed. It’s like inside a volcano here.
Remember what it feels like to have something to do? A reason to get up early in the morning in a bad mood, banging your head on all the furniture from the sleepiness in my head. Somehow I managed to wake up every morning, brush my teeth, put some decent clothes on (although they didn’t match every time), take the bus, change the bus, or the subway, and then I walk, walk, walk. I sit at a desk, I do my job, I walk back to the subway, or grab a bus, I get home, grab a bite, take a quick shower and go back to sleep. And the next day I do it all again. Nothing changes. It is all the same. Oh, but wait, it did change.
The fridge is making weird noises. It stopped. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Missi- and here it goes back on. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, Three Mississippi, Four Mississippi, Five -. And it stopped again. That can’t be right… right?
They say that everything happens for a reason. Which makes me question myself: why did I let my phone in service? What if I never see it again? Oh my, I really miss my smartphone.
Damn! A mosquito just buzzed in my year. And now it’s haunting my body. I’m going to kill it. It’s on my head, I’m just going to slap it! And I just slapped myself. I still hear it orbiting around my body. And his. Well that’s just not cool!
Why is high school so far away? I don’t remember much from that time. I feel so old. It’s like I have amnesia. But I do have a few flashbacks, those must count for something, don’t they?
Is this the real life? Is it just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality! Well, that must have been a fun time to live in. I would be a great singer! Or maybe not. Probably my not so good voice would be an impediment. Now they have auto tune. So what if? It’s not like I would like to sing.
This is a tricky one. First year of university. Today was a really tiring day. I got home from classes and went straight to bed. I can’t remember exactly what was I dreaming about… Someone else is in the room. I hear voices. One of my room-mates is back. And she is not alone. I don’t recognize any of those voices.
“… yeah I’m from (insert same city as the one I live in)” said boy#1.
“So, which one of you is from (insert same city here) again?” I said as I rose and shined from under my warm blanket.
“Too bad. I was hoping the cute other one is” I thought as I was watching them trying to cool down from the scare I gave them.
Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Girl falls in love with boy and boy falls in love with girl. But that is another story, for another time to be told.
It’s so hot in here, I’ll never get a chance to sleep. God, it feels like I’ve been awake for hours! I better check the time, so I know how much I have left to sleep. It’s 3:07 AM. That’s it?! Just 5 minutes? How can it be possible? It just changed to 3:08 AM. That’s more like it. My loved one is in a deep sleep. No matter how hot it gets in here, I will always feel better in his arms. The warmth and safety that his arms provide me are the best way of putting me to sleep. I love him. I really do. ☺
I was sent here for you, we were made to love, we were made to love… I should really consider a singing career.